whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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