Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
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i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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