We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
