I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
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You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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