you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize