You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I will be naked everywhere
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
