I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
