I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
