If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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