Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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