SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
