There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
