i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
