# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
this will be a night to untag.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
