C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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