No awkward lesbian experiences without me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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