How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
