THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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