he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday