walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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