Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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