Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
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