i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
