i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
