Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
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I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize