She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
