love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
