i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
