hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
