You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
