After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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