Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
