I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
