Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When are your genitals available?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
