First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
