The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
