that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
