I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
