Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
