talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
