watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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