Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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