Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize