I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
