About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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