Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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