I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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