So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
