I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
