Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
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All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
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Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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