i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
