i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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