So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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