I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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