WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
