I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
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High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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