My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
