i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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