One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
