i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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