So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
