it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
