trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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