I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
