why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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