I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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