the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
