Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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