I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
